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December 25, 2012

The Detroit Essentials

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T-minus thirteen hours until my bus, Bus #2, rolls out of Bowling Green up I-65N to pick up my fellow WKU comrades in Louisville. It's been a wonderful Christmas day for me so far but now my Christmas excitement is shifting to Little Caesars Pizza Bowl excitement! I can't wait to hit the road in the morning and join up with a few WKU friends.

Joining me on Bus #2 is fellow Rivals contributor Woody White, long-time friend Luke Gilliam, and my little brother Jon. We will be stopping in Louisville where my good friends Jon Ricker and Brett Combest will be getting on along with some new friends I met this year that had season tickets behind me, Gary & Leslie Frye.

Since this is WKU's first bowl game and it's 8 hours from home, I wanted to make sure that everyone brought the essentials for Detroit. I have compiled a list of items you might want to bring to make this trip a memorable one. Thanks to my brother, Jonathan Haley, for helping compile this list!

Red Towel

Don't leave home without it! It's going to be an awesome sight for the players when they look up into the stands and see thousands of red towels waving and people cheering. Although we will probably be outnumbered 4:1, we need to make sure the WKU fans are the loudest.

Warm Clothes

The forecast is calling for 29 degree temperatures and a 100% chance of snow tomorrow night in Detroit. Ford Field is indoors so I'm assuming the temperature inside the venue will be decently warm but you better pack for some cold weather. Nobody wants to be the guy that steps off the bus with a t-shirt on in freezing conditions. Wrap up!

Log of Favorite Smokeless Tobacco

This one is for the dipping crowd. The bus ride is going to be a long one and you don't want to reach down into your pocket, pull out a can of dip, and realize you only have one pinch left. Instead of having to ask yourself why you didn't stop at Minit Mart before you pulled into South Campus, just go ahead and get a whole log. Now you have enough to share, unless Ray Harper is around.

Bodyguard

According to Forbes.com, Detroit is America's most dangerous city to live in for the fourth year in a row. That's a big time award, good job Detroit! My brother has suggested that every fan should bring a personal bodyguard for protection from the evils of the Motor City. He also realizes this option may not be feasible, so being the generous guy that he is, he has offered an alternative plane. A Knife for Protection is almost as good. If you decide to go out to one of the casinos close to the hotel and somehow wander upon 8 Mile, fear not, you have your knife! (You will probably still get mugged.)

Western Kentucky Apparel

This is kind of a given but I want everyone to make sure to bring plenty of red. If you arrive at your hotel only to find out the bag full of WKU clothing was left at home on your bed don't yell at your wife, this is your fault. Consider yourself warned!

Hot Hands

Like I said earlier, it gon' be cold!

Snowball Fight Essentials

I am trying to construct the world's largest snowball fight to take place sometime after the game. Wouldn't it be awesome to see thousands of people in downtown Detroit breakout into a wintery weather free-for-all?

I think so.

Do I think this will ever take place?

Probably not but if it does you will be prepared.

Phone Charger

No bus ride is fun without YouTube and Angry Birds. Don't be the guy trying to bum people's phones.

Ice Scraper and Tire Chains

This one is for those that choose to drive up rather than ride the bus. I know how Kentuckians are, you see one snow flake and you run to your local Wal-Mart for bread and milk. Just bring a ice scraper to clean your windshield and you will be good to go. Detroit is use to snow so I'm sure the roads will be clear.
This also brings up another topic that I have always been confused about. Why does the older generation choose milk and bread as their emergency food supply? Don't come at me with that stuff, bro. If I'm getting snowed in there is no way I will be chowing down on milk and bread. I could see that being an adequate meal for your cats but don't offer me a plate of bread. If WBKO is calling for a blizzard I'm stocking up on caffeinated beverages, frozen pizza, potato chips, cookies, and maybe some hot chocolate.

Money Belt (to hide valuables from muggers)

I didn't know there was a thing actually called a money belt until 30 minutes ago but my brother claims it is a pouch that you wear on the inside of your pants to hide your stuff. Essentially it's supposedly a hidden fanny pack comparable to the same pouch a kangaroo keeps her young in. I have no idea where to purchase one of these and I'm still not sure these actually exist so just take it for what it's worth.

A game plan for your friend that goes missing

This is probably the most important piece of information you and your buddies can work out before the night begins. I realize that there are many students and young fans that are going to the game that will be hitting the bars tomorrow night.

MAKE A GAME PLAN.

If you and your friends get separated, have a location to meet at before everyone calls it a night. Nobody wants to end of in a Bangkok gentlemen's club, trust me.

On a side note, please don't lock your friend on the roof of the Marriot or in the hotel icebox. Those have been done before. If you're going to lock your friend somewhere, make sure it's creative. And send me pictures.

I hope that this list will help you with all your packing needs.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.







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